Witty Magician

Month

April 2011

“I’m no martyr. I did it for the money. But it’s not worth much if you can’t face yourself in the mirror. Respect is the ultimate currency. I was stealing from a man who traded his away for a few dollars. And then he tried to wash away his guilt. Drown it in a lifetime of good deeds and a sea of respectability. It almost worked, too. But inevitably, the further you run from your sins, the more exhausted you are when they catch up to you. And they do. Certain. It will not fail.” —Dalton Russell
Apr 29, 20111 note
Opening lines of "Inside Man"
  • Dalton Russell: My name is Dalton Russell. Pay strict attention to what I say because I choose my words carefully and I never repeat myself. I've told you my name: that's the Who. The Where could most readily be described as a prison cell. But there's a vast difference between being stuck in a tiny cell and being in prison. The What is easy: recently I planned and set in motion events to execute the perfect bank robbery. That's also the When. As for the Why: beyond the obvious financial motivation, it's exceedingly simple... because I can. Which leaves us only with the How; and therein, as the Bard would tell us, lies the rub.
Apr 29, 2011
  • Four Seasons Maitre d': Good afternoon, sir. Do you have a reservation?
  • Keith Frazier: [walking past him] Looking for the mayor.
  • Four Seasons Maitre d': May I have your hat, please?
  • Keith Frazier: No, you cannot! Get your own.
Apr 29, 2011
One of my favourite closings
  • George: Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf
  • Virginia Woolf
  • Virginia Woolf?
  • Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?
  • Martha: I am George...
  • I am.
Apr 29, 2011
“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” —Albert Einstein (via goupupandaway)
Apr 29, 201126 notes
“Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen
would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved
by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more
reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this
advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You
will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until
they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at
photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much
possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You
are not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying
is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things
that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you
at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead,
sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s
only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank
statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with
your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22
what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most
interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them
when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children,
maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the
funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do,
don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it
or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument
you’ll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living
room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel
ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone
for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your
past and the people most likely to stick with you in the
future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people
who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you
soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians
will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll
fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable,
politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust
fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when
either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it
will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over
the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.”
—
Mary Schmich

Apr 29, 20116 notes
How other people draw Birds

image

How i draw them:

image

Absolutely the story of my life.

Apr 29, 2011112,858 notes
I want this to happen. UP TO THE ELEPHANT!!!

fyeahbackstagebadger:

Backstage pictures by CHAL9000

Before show:

After strike:

Apr 29, 201110 notes
“Where are we? Who am I?” —
Apr 28, 2011
#my life its me
I was in a crabby mood and now I'm not.

So, I was at my school for 12 hours today. It was long. And tiring. AND NO ONE WOULD BE QUIET BACKSTAGE. From the newbie Sophmore to the veteran Seniors. No one was even trying I felt. And it was strange because normally the sophmore would be expected to be quieter because they are shy and it’s really the seniors who think they rock who talk and use their phones backstage. It really drives me crazy. If I’m focused on set changes, fixing/finding/mending/cleaning up props, comfort those who are being driven crazy, heal, and stay on book, you would think other people could at least me quiet-er. Not silent; just whisper.

SO by the time I got home I was crappy. I snapped at my dad, who then asked if I would like some Bueno Bars. As a note, the Bueno bar is a magical chocolate bar created by the Kinder company that I discovered in Scotland and ever since then life has been different. I can only find them in the Russian Store in the town common, and my dad was willing to go drive and pick some up for me even after I was a pretty big bitch to him. My sister also made me a second dinner because I was bitching (again) about how much I wanted pasta and really didn’t like my mom’s dinner she made. Even my mom was lovely and noted that this wasn’t a favourite dinner anymore and said she’d make it less frequently. SO by the time I got my Bueno I was transformed. I was so much happier and I love my family so much. And Bueno. Deff the Bueno.

Apr 28, 2011
#my life its me
“She’s a life ruiner. She ruins people’s lives.” —Janice Ian
Apr 27, 2011
Now I have a computer.

As a preface to this post, I wrote it on my iPod (again) in the car. Also, my charger for my very old computer finally arrived, so I can actually type!

En route to the poetry slam. My group made it past the first round, which was a miracle. I didn’t think we’d make it honestly. I love our poems but I was afraid that people wouldn’t get them on a single read through. Fortunately, they did :) And we’re off.
Writing is so cathartic. It totally purge my body of whatever negative emotions I’m feeling, even when I’m not bitching about something! I just get up, type away, and just feel better.
We didn’t win, but that was to be expected. All the kids that performed were outstanding and it wa just so fun to be up there. I messed up on part of my poem but I was fine. I had so much fun! All my friends were so excellent as presenters and I was so proud of everyone for going. I want to try to get some people’s poems up here for you all to read.

Apr 27, 2011
I have no computer

Thank goodness the tumblr app is actually amazing. That being said, if I tumbl for much longer y battery will die. Good night moon.

Apr 27, 2011
Apr 27, 20112,574 notes
“I find you whimsical and wonderful. Just thought I’d [share]” —Allie Raynor
Apr 26, 2011
“Poor fool! These very gibes you mouth at me will soon be hurled by every mouth at you.” —Sophocles
Apr 26, 2011
“Sometimes I wonder how people manage to live in their own skin.” —
Apr 25, 20112 notes
#my life its me
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